Million Eyes pioneers new acronym-busting implant to fight technobabble health concerns

Million Eyes are pioneering a revolutionary translation solution to combat health concerns over the overuse of acronyms and abbreviations in technology.

In the wake of the tragic case of 72-year-old Alis Thorstein trying to resolve an issue with his new, high-tech washing machine and being confronted with so many acronyms he suffered a fatal embolism, the tech space has woken up to the very serious problem of overcomplicating the language it uses. In particular, EMGWPJ says that FoSH companies offering DB-IoT hardware for KFGC-based JV solutions are losing significant amounts of EMHK from the ISNL and the UBVCO.

Now Million Eyes are working on a new solution to address the health concerns associated with technobabble. Namely, a tiny, artificial intelligence-powered chip pre-programmed to understand more than a million already-in-use technological abbreviations and process new ones as they enter the language. The chip will be implanted into the brain so that everyone who hears a tech acronym will know exactly what it means.

“The IT industry is notorious for using too many acronyms and abbreviations. There’s one already — IT!” says Erica Morgan, Million Eyes’ CEO. “But the situation really has become grave. We’ve lost too many old people to the complexities of technology. It has to stop.”

Miss Morgan adds, “Million Eyes are extremely proud to have invented the first truly intuitive and user-friendly operating systems for MEphones and MEcs that don’t require you to go on a course to know how to use. Our acronym-busting implant is the next step towards universal understanding of all the multifarious technologies that are out there. We’re particularly looking forward to how it will help JFDS deal with the CAG-D3 of the N12SW so that everyone’s GDQPJ will be HPOM.”

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