It has been brought to our attention that an ex-history teacher turned blogger, Gregory Ferro, has been publishing outlandish articles about time travellers tampering with established history. Mr Ferro believes time travellers were responsible for the shooting of William II, the disappearance of the Princes in the Tower and the car crash that killed Princess Diana. He also believes these same time travellers were present during the Black Death, interrogating sufferers about a ‘book with a strange title’. (Yes, this one doesn’t even register on the nonsense meter.)
Why are we talking about Mr Ferro’s theories here at Million Eyes? Well, because certain imbeciles have drawn associations between Mr Ferro’s alleged time travellers and us.
It’s unclear at the current time where these rumours started. But I suspect it’s that insufferable pair of conspiratorial junkies, C.R. Berry and PR Pope, who are stirring the pot once again. They’ve been accusing Million Eyes of being time travellers for months (and we’ve been shooting them down for months, too). C.R. Berry is the one who wrote that stupid ebook of short stories and had the audacity to use our name in its title — Million Eyes: Extra Time he called it! PR Pope is just an internet troll with a sad and desperate need to be provocative.
And while Gregory Ferro’s theories are highly imaginative, the man is nuttier than a squirrel turd. Everyone knows William II’s death was an accident. And the Princes in the Tower were very likely murdered by Richard III. And wasn’t it proven that Henri Paul was drunk at the wheel of Princess Diana’s Mercedes?
Moreover, there is sweet FA evidence that Million Eyes are anything to do with these barmy claims. Rumours such as these detract from the good work we are doing, such as the MEdoorway app we released to help homeless people before Christmas, and our new tech acronym-busting translation implant.
So please ignore all suggestions that we are the time travellers Mr Ferro is looking for. Because if you don’t, we’ll come after you.
[Internal comment from JW: Miss Morgan, do you really think that last line is a good idea?]