New public relations manager Erma Fenagak joins Million Eyes this week to help us deal with the C.R. Berry fallout.
It’s been an ugly few weeks here at Million Eyes. While sales of MEcs, MEphones and MEcars remain strong, we know that there are people out there blaming us for all kinds of absurd things since that book by C.R. Berry was released last month.
This has led us to appoint a new PR manager, Erma Fenagak. Miss Fenagak is an expert at spotlighting truth and making conspiracy theories disappear. She will be helping those who believe Million Eyes have been assassinating royals to get their heads out of their arses. And she will be putting C.R. Berry’s accusations about us having invented time travel firmly to bed. She is here to silence the lies, and the liars.
“I have a very particular set of skills,” says Miss Fenagak. “Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like C.R. Berry. If he withdraws his book and retracts his ridiculous and offensive claims about Million Eyes, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for him. I will not pursue him. But if he doesn’t…” Miss Fenagak laughs, “Hopefully it won’t come to that! I also plan to do some really positive PR stories and press conferences, which are going to be a lot of fun.”
Miss Fenagak’s work will allow us to focus on the important work we’re doing, such as our new app for homeless people, and our revolutionary implant for tackling health concerns associated with the overuse of jargon in technology.