I am sincerely hoping to put some minds at rest with this post. I ask that you read with an open mind.
It emerged recently that an ex-history teacher, Gregory Ferro, was making wild accusations about time travellers on his blog, https://gregoryferro.home.blog/. Mr Ferro has been saying that time travellers were responsible for the shooting of King William II, the disappearance of the Princes in the Tower and the car crash that killed Princess Diana. Afterwards, links were soon made between these time travellers and Million Eyes. What a preposterous notion, you might say! Unfortunately, many people are believing it.
Now these awful lies have been published in a book for all the world to read. This book, simply called Million Eyes(and apparently the first in a trilogy, God help us all) has just been released by the author, C.R. Berry. The same scumbag who wrote that short story collection about time travellers being involved in JFK’s assassination and the replacement of Paul McCartney with a lookalike, Million Eyes: Extra Time.
New public relations manager Erma Fenagak joins Million Eyes this week to help us deal with the C.R. Berry fallout.
It’s been an ugly few weeks here at Million Eyes. While sales of MEcs, MEphones and MEcars remain strong, we know that there are people out there blaming us for all kinds of absurd things since that book by C.R. Berry was released last month.
This has led us to appoint a new PR manager, Erma Fenagak. Miss Fenagak is an expert at spotlighting truth and making conspiracy theories disappear. She will be helping those who believe Million Eyes have been assassinating royals to get their heads out of their arses. And she will be putting C.R. Berry’s accusations about us having invented time travel firmly to bed. She is here to silence the lies, and the liars.
It has been brought to our attention that an ex-history teacher turned blogger, Gregory Ferro, has been publishing outlandish articles about time travellers tampering with established history. Mr Ferro believes time travellers were responsible for the shooting of William II, the disappearance of the Princes in the Tower and the car crash that killed Princess Diana. He also believes these same time travellers were present during the Black Death, interrogating sufferers about a ‘book with a strange title’. (Yes, this one doesn’t even register on the nonsense meter.)
Why are we talking about Mr Ferro’s theories here at Million Eyes? Well, because certain imbeciles have drawn associations between Mr Ferro’s alleged time travellers and us.
It’s unclear at the current time where these rumours started. But I suspect it’s that insufferable pair of conspiratorial junkies, C.R. Berry and PR Pope, who are stirring the pot once again. They’ve been accusing Million Eyes of being time travellers for months (and we’ve been shooting them down for months, too). C.R. Berry is the one who wrote that stupid ebook of short stories and had the audacity to use our name in its title — Million Eyes: Extra Time he called it! PR Pope is just an internet troll with a sad and desperate need to be provocative.
We’re showing our commitment to helping the poor and needy this Christmas by launching a new app to help homeless people find shelter.
The app is called MEdoorway and allows homeless people to use their MEphones to find empty shop doorways where they can sleep for the night. As with all Million Eyes apps, it’s incredibly easy to use. Just open it up and it’ll track your location and direct you to the nearest options.
Million Eyes are pioneering a revolutionary translation solution to combat health concerns over the overuse of acronyms and abbreviations in technology.
In the wake of the tragic case of 72-year-old Alis Thorstein trying to resolve an issue with his new, high-tech washing machine and being confronted with so many acronyms he suffered a fatal embolism, the tech space has woken up to the very serious problem of overcomplicating the language it uses. In particular, EMGWPJ says that FoSH companies offering DB-IoT hardware for KFGC-based JV solutions are losing significant amounts of EMHK from the ISNL and the UBVCO.
Now Million Eyes are working on a new solution to address the health concerns associated with technobabble. Namely, a tiny, artificial intelligence-powered chip pre-programmed to understand more than a million already-in-use technological abbreviations and process new ones as they enter the language. The chip will be implanted into the brain so that everyone who hears a tech acronym will know exactly what it means.
Technology is having an enormous impact on industry, particularly manufacturing. But is the impact positive or negative for manufacturing plants?
For those who don’t know what manufacturing plants are, these are giant sentient plants of the species, Sillnoodebosty, which resemble bushes with round bellies and human-like appendages. They are also known disparagingly as ‘heavy plants’ because of their size. You’re most likely to have seen one at a heavy plant crossing, where you’re required to stop and let them pass to get back to their forest and swamp habitats.
Manufacturing plants are capable of putting things together at incredible speeds and have become a literal force of nature in the manufacturing industry. They use their nimble green fingers to build shoes, printers, toys, boats and chilli paste lollies. But now automation, artificial intelligence (AI) and the Internet of Things (IoT) are threatening to take jobs away from these gentle creatures.
The newest generation of cellular technology is already making waves, enabling applications that just weren’t possible before. Virtual/augmented reality, driverless cars, smart cities, edge computing and connected baths are now a part of our everyday and working lives thanks to 5G.
Thus far, even though they are now several generations behind, 2G and 3G networks have endured in many parts of the world. Still today there are new Internet of Things (IoT) devices being connected to 2G and 3G because they do not require the speed and data capabilities of 4G and 5G. In addition, there are many elderly people using old phones that are only capable of connecting to 2G.
A new report by Million Eyes has revealed that congestion on the roads is getting worse despite increasing numbers of MEcars and other driverless vehicles.
According to Twin Pines research, traffic jams are slowing down the global economy to the tune of £22 trillion a week. Our report lists several reasons why this is happening.
First, there are now more cars on the road because children, the elderly and other people who could not or would not drive conventional cars are using driverless cars instead of public transport. In addition, driverless cars are being used for one-way trips and driving themselves back while empty.
We’re pleased to announce that the first-ever Million Eyes-produced TV series, Paint, will be available to watch on the Million Eyes streaming service (MEss) from January 1st 2020.
Paint is a new sitcom starring rising star Cory Pincas in his first TV role. He will play a man who is painting his house pale green and suddenly remembers that he meant to paint it pale blue. He’s forced to go to the shops to buy some new paint and then has to come home and paint over the green, with predictably hilarious results. Early reviews have already called Paint one of the funniest and most inventive comedies ever made.
The latest version of the world’s favourite smartphone has arrived.
The new model has a nitrogen-oxygen fuel cell, which means it runs on air. It also comes with multi-angle face ID, improvements to low light photos, a quadruple-lens rear camera and a shatter-proof casing made from duck bone.
Most importantly for IoT fans is that our hugely popular app, MElookgood, is installed for free. This connects to all the MEcameras in your home and office and tells you whether your face is clean, your hair is appropriately groomed, and your clothes are free of creases, saving you from having to buy and use mirrors.
Million Eyes would like to make it abundantly clear that we have nothing to do with the new book that’s been released by some author called C.R. Berry. Mr Berry is nothing more than a conspiracy theorist with some screws loose (or missing).
We hope it is mere coincidence that Mr Berry has used our name in the title of his book, “Million Eyes: Extra Time”. The “Extra Time” is something to do with this being a companion piece to another book he’s got coming out, simply called “Million Eyes”. It’s a collection of silly short stories about time travel being involved in famous events.
The UK is winning the race to unlock trillions of pounds of benefits from the Internet of Things (IoT), according to a new study by Million Eyes.
The IoT is made up of devices connected to each other via the internet and, in effect, “talking” to each other. They include smart thermostats, smart meters, driverless cars, cookers you can regulate on the go, and baths you can run while you’re still at the office, ready for a soak when you arrive home. And the IoT is growing rapidly. Twin Pines research shows that 15 quadrillion devices are set to be connected to the IoT by 2022.